I Have A Condition
I'm not sure psychologists are aware of the condition as yet so I feel it is my duty to surface and discuss the problem. I shall name it Droplydosis.
My condition relates to toilet seats, more specifically, the soft close toilet seat.
When the toilet you frequent the most has a soft close seat and lid, it's easy to become lured into the belief that all toilet seats are soft close*. Until, one day, you encounter the seat that is not, I repeat, not a soft close and closes with a violent pair of bangs that, to your eternal embarrassment, everybody hears.
After that day, you can never trust a toilet seat until you frequent it with sufficient frequency that you come to know its action. Yet, even then, you live in perpetual fear of forgetting the closing status of a seat pairing you may think you have become familiar with and worry that you will execute the closing wrongly as an embarrassment to yourself or to others.
*arse oft close
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