Understand This
[11th Jul 2026 19:22] - Michael Bublé's name means Michael breast milk.
Build Us A Clever Machine
[9th Jul 2026 13:06] - You see, I can't help but think that all this started to go to rat shit as soon as Dr Snuggles stopped dreaming of a better tomorrow.
Sponsorshit
[3rd Jul 2026 18:43] - - Me: "I went on a training run tonight, out beyond the north of Luton, so that my social media guy could shoot some video for my new kit sponsor."
- He: "Asics?"
- Me: "No. The A505 out towards Hitchin."
Pun For The Geometry Fans 🖼
[2nd Jul 2026 20:33] - The 3m square on the hypotenuse. The area of the square attached to the longest side of a triangle equals the sum of the areas of the squares on the other two sides.
Neville A Crossed Word 📖
[29th Jun 2026 16:35] - - Serg: " … "
- [time passes]
- Serg: "I'm not sure what I'm supposed to be looking at. Is it some kind of burlesque? All I know is that I'm not sure that it's quite the surprise you said you had in sto … Read more
I'll Wait
[29th Jun 2026 16:13] - I tried to write an anagram that almost spelt disaster.
No, Not Fairly…
[29th Jun 2026 14:44] - I said Reverend Spooner's felly smart. He really is one fart smella!
Tetris 🖼
[28th Jun 2026 15:39]
Yes, It's Hot But... 🖼
[25th Jun 2026 13:18] - Let's keep it in its proper perspective. x
How Are You Spelling Mnemonic?
[23rd Jun 2026 11:24] - I before E except after seize. #word
Spoonerism
[20th Jun 2026 10:53] - - Advertising Copywriter: "I wrote a line about a mid-day meal but it lacked punch."
Greasepaint
[18th Jun 2026 16:45] - IDEA:
A liquid face cream for actors that, upon application, turns greasy and gelatinous.
I'm naming it Congeal Good ®.
Indy Band Name 🖼
[7th Jun 2026 08:59]
Smiley
[2nd Jun 2026 12:01] - I'm sending you this message via my website, instead of printing it and sending it to you in the mail, because my printer is out of yellow wink. 😉
Snooker Hall
[26th May 2026 20:23] - Knowing how to play truant is a sing of a misspelt youth. #fact
If Happy Little Bluebirds Fly 📖
[26th May 2026 19:56] - Something's been troubling me for years - perhaps for about 45 years or so, to be more precise.
This hasn't been something that's kept me awake, night-after-night, for countless nights; it's been something of a persistent earworm … Read more
Sign Of A Misspent Youth
[20th May 2026 07:39] - Idea for the rebrand of a snooker hall. Name it Drummond Baize.
Hot Purse Suit 📖
[16th May 2026 20:13] - - PC Spooner: "Charlie Four, I have eyes on target, pursuing suspect vehicle along coastal road, proceeding north towards Hartlepool. Over."
- Control: "Roger, Charlie Four. Redcar?"
- PC Spooner: "No, it's a blac … Read more
Oxtail English Dictionary - Today's New Word
[7th May 2026 02:10] - Onomachupicchu - noun: words which phonetically imitate, resemble or suggest something that sounds somewhat Peruvian.
Spoonerism - KFC 🖼
[29th Apr 2026 20:47] - Ken Fucky Tried Chicken.
Error Message
[Published: 22nd Jan 2026 12:10 | Modified: 27th Apr 2026 11:47] - - Printer: <INSERT YELLOW INK>
- Me: 😜
He Wears Cor Blimey Trousers 🔗 🖼
[24th Apr 2026 21:22]
Movie Pitch 🖼
[24th Apr 2026 02:16] - "So, in conclusion. Do away with tiresome actors, by making my film: 'Withnail AI'. Thank you for your interest, I am now happy to answer any questions you may have."
Acceptance 🖼
[23rd Apr 2026 03:51]
Tech vs Life 📖
[19th Apr 2026 15:23] - - Tech: "Hey! Kids! Buy this iPhone, sure, it'll cost you more but it's very cool and it'll make you look and feel cool.
- Me: "Cool!"
- Life: "You will be unable to function unless you have at least 3 parking app … Read more