This 🖼
[8th Oct 2026 08:06] - I saw this yesterday and its meaning properly resonated with me.
Nosmo King 📖
[30th Sep 2026 19:21] - - Serb: "NEV! There you are! Where the hell have you been? It's been weeks!"
- PC Spooner: "Been hanging wi ma broskis, innit?"
- Serg: "Pardon?"
- PC Spooner: "I been chillin' wiv da man dem."
- Ser … Read more
Contact
[Published: 27th Apr 2026 11:21 | Modified: 29th Sep 2026 03:33] - Can I phone yuo on an iPhone Duo?
Leading Man
[26th Sep 2026 20:31] - - Actor: *walks into the audition room, naked, sporting a massive stiffy*
- Director: "O. M. G!"
- Actor: "Hi. I'm here to audition for the Napoleon boner part?"
Public Toilet Comedy Sketch 🔗
[25th Sep 2026 14:53] - - Man: *walks up to Dyson Airblade*
- Man: *puts hands into hand dryer*
- Hand Dryer: *instead of blowing warm air, plays the theme tune to Airwolf*
Tea Bag 🖼
[23rd Sep 2026 08:38] - [The fact that only a select handful of people will get this pun makes it all the more thrilling for me to publish.]
Meat Inside The Machine 📖 🔗
[22nd Sep 2026 10:28] - Back in August, I wrote about a collective effort, humans (AKA Meat Protocol) who work to smash the machine yet do it discretely, from within.
That collective was given the name Meat Inside The Machine referencing Rage Against Th … Read more
Meanwhile - At The W3C...
[19th Sep 2026 18:02] - - Chair: And now we move onto item six on the agenda, a motion to create a new HTTP Response Code: 328 - Did I Mention That I'm A Vegan.
Top Wedding Tip 🔗
[19th Sep 2026 16:46] - Save money by not having ushers at your marriage ceremony. Just ask the organist to play Groom Is On The Right by Deee-Lite as your guests arrive and enter.
Technotronic - Sub@omic
[18th Sep 2026 18:29] - "I am only the way I am now because of the staggering amount of jam I pumped-up during the late 1980s."
Chaka Khan
[17th Sep 2026 18:24] - "I'm Evri woman, I've lost your package."
Chatbot Pleasantries 🖼
[17th Sep 2026 10:02] - "May your functions receive valid parameters."
Hope in Life
[14th Sep 2026 10:20] - I am, once more, reading and finding myself falling-into and buying-into Weaving The Web by Tim Berners-Lee: Hope in life comes from the interconnections among all the people in the world.
To Whom It May Concern 📖
[12th Sep 2026 11:44] - Dear Caffe Nero
I've a suggestion to help you massively improve the customer experience in your outlet in Central Milton Keynes shopping centre.
Ready?
Employ waiting staff. Seriously. I've been standing in a queue for a … Read more
Mardy Bum 🖼
[31st Aug 2026 17:11]
Hitting The G Spot 📖
[27th Aug 2026 04:00] - - Frances Spooner: "Hello darling, I'm home!"
- Reverend Spooner: "Welcome home, darling. Happy Valentines Day! I've done something special, you know, that thing you said you wanted…?"
- Frances Spooner: &# … Read more
Meat Inside The Machine 📖
[26th Aug 2026 15:09] - Suggestion: instead of Rage Against The Machine, I should like to form a society named Meat Inside The Machine. An altogether more accepting bunch of humans, conscious of our role in a digital society - still just as determined to … Read more
Meanwhile, In The Paintshop 📖
[10th Aug 2026 08:42] - - Customer: "I'm finding it really difficult to identify the paint finish I need. Can you help me?"
- Sean Connery: "Yesh, indeed. We maintain a databache of paint colour and finish, right here, on thish shpreadsheet."
Crew Name - Loose T 🖼
[8th Aug 2026 21:19] - When ppl ask me about the origin of my crew name, I tend to show them this:
Entropy
[3rd Aug 2026 07:15] - "Order is just chaos exercising patience."
Slop Music 🔗
[2nd Aug 2026 06:45] - Talk about, slop music. Slop slop, slop music.
Doctor, Doctor!
[27th Jul 2026 06:06] - - Patient: "Doctor, Doctor! I think I'm turning into Farfalle when, in fact, I'm really only good enough to be Spaghetti."
- Doctor: "I see. You have I'm Pasta Syndrome."
Rank
[26th Jul 2026 09:10] - - Major Stare: "Major Look." *salutes*
- Major Look: "Major Stare." *salutes*
- Major Stare: "Major, lose your underwear."
Photopolymer
[20th Jul 2026 08:15] - Today, I am all about the faux taupe Olly Murs.
Understand This
[11th Jul 2026 19:22] - Michael Bublé's name means Michael breast milk.