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Today, I Am That Person. 🔗 🖼

[8th Dec 2023 08:36] - I have been sooo inspired by the motivational mantras and affirmations on Instagram that, this morning, I was moved to create one of my own. #foldTheROLL

Meat Packing Factory 📖

[6th Dec 2023 08:31] - - Worker: "So what made you take the job?"
- Intern: "My love of the music business, really."
- Worker: "Seriously? What makes you think packing burgers has anything to do with making or selling records?"
- Intern: "Th … Read more

Thought For The Day 📖

[28th Nov 2023 12:08] - Yoko Ono is, perhaps, the smartest, shrewdest and most ingenious woman you're ever likely to meet.

Think about it. Her husband wrote and recorded her a love song. By giving it to others, she enabled The Beatles (2 of whom are dead) to properly  … Read more

Meanwhile, In The Range Rover

[23rd Nov 2023 09:05] - - Kate: "Well that wasn't such a bad drive after all. Now, here we are at Buckingha… JESUS!!! WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?!"

- Will: "Chill, princess. Pa King sensors, innit."


[14th Nov 2023 15:09] - Architects who spent much of their student years partying at raves during the '90s are thought to be solely responsible for the growth of passivhaus.

Painters' Retreat 🖼

[14th Nov 2023 07:28] - - "I've just come back from a fabulous painting holiday in southern Spain - we got to see Picasso's place of birth!"

- "Andalusia?"

- "No mate, you're thinking of van Gogh."

Put Down 📖 🔗

[13th Nov 2023 11:46] - You know when somebody's talking at you and is attempting to make it look as if they know all the facts but, because you know many more than they appear to do, you need to save the day, by letting them know exactly where they stand? You do? Excellent! … Read more

English Heritage

[11th Nov 2023 09:10] - You may not be aware of it, but the car park at Stonehenge is a pagan display.

Dear BBC

[9th Nov 2023 14:18] - When the café in Eastenders next gets burned-down, perhaps it would benefit from a rebrand - may I please suggest calling it Beale Tea? ?

Groove Armada vs Shakey 🖼

[6th Nov 2023 18:02] - Icy Ewe baby, Shakin' that Steven, Shakin' that Steven…

Verulamium 🖼

[6th Nov 2023 17:18] - Walk in Verulamium Park to walk down a waffle or two.


[6th Nov 2023 16:33] - I once met a sceptic who needed to be convinced about travelling at twice the speed of sound. I took him to Duxford, yet, even standing underneath the tailplane of Concorde failed to persuade him. "I still don't see the point", he said.

Movie Plot Idea

[4th Nov 2023 00:10] - Two ambitious girls, despite their parents' wishes, have their hearts set on careers in a stationers' office. I'm going with the title of : "Post-It Like 3M".

St John is HOW Old?

[2nd Nov 2023 10:55] - I am 'looks for something in the kitchen and can't place it, or call-to-mind the name of the thing I'm looking for, so does the action of using it' years old.

Christmas Dinner 📖

[1st Nov 2023 13:39] - - He: "Darling, I'm starting to think about Christmas Dinner for this year. I know you think that carving at the table is a little last century and that you'd like a table with more room for decoration (so that photos we take pop). Perhaps you … Read more

The Two Ronnies 🔗

[31st Oct 2023 12:02] - - Corbett: "FUNEX?"
- Barker: "Mate, you're on the wrong show. This is Eastenders."
- Corbett: "RUENBL?"

Film Idea Pitch 📖

[27th Oct 2023 09:38] - The B52s travel through time and space, to a place where rock music doesn't exist and classical music rules.

Imagine, if you will, the score that runs with the opening titles…

"Dvorak is a little old place where we can get together … Read more

Better's Gotta Come 📖 🔗 🖼

[25th Oct 2023 11:11] - A year ago today we lost Nicola. Given all that's happened, this past year, at times it's hardly seemed real. Today, however, it feels very real indeed. The trigger has been music.

Second only to family, music was a big part of Nic's li … Read more

Meanwhile, At The Kingston British Comedy Club…

[19th Oct 2023 15:04] - - Compère: "Mike Yarwood never let me down."
- Heckler: "Yeah man, neither would mine!"

[Meanwhile, at NerdFest '23…]

[19th Oct 2023 13:39] - - MySQL Nerd: "Hey, buddy! You look a bit lost. Wanna sit down? You can join our table if you want…"

- MySQL Broskis: *giggle*

Mullet 🖼

[19th Oct 2023 13:03] - Bell's Palsy really is the mullet of the facial world: business on my right, party on my left! ??

Childhood 🖼

[8th Oct 2023 08:44] - Day by day, week by week, month by month - an ever-increasing proportion of the UK population will not understand what this means.

Posted Without Comment 🖼

[1st Oct 2023 20:13]

The Crown vs St John le Pop 📖

[1st Oct 2023 17:15] - - Judge: "M. Le Pop. You are charged with the creation and circulation of some of the worst puns in living memory and, as such, shall face a criminal sentence. Before I pass sentence, do you have anything to say for yourself?"

- St John le  … Read more

Test Drive

[30th Sep 2023 15:34] - - Buyer: "I'm sorry, I have to know. What is that goddamn awful smell?!"
- BMW Dealer: "Too overpowering, Sir? Don't worry, I can turn it down. This car comes with Hilde scent control."