Vibe Coding
[14th Mar 2026 10:25] - Prompt Engineers are merely modern day equivalents of Arthur Dent telling a Nutri-Matic Drinks Synthesiser that he wants a cup of tea. #shareAndENJOY
Through The Square Window 🔗 🖼
[10th Mar 2026 10:50] - Proof positive, were any required, that Instagram is the modern day equivalent of Playschool. Dumbed-down, short-form, brain-rot.
Continuity Announcement 2026 :'-(
[9th Mar 2026 19:41] - "And coming-up next, on ITV1, it's Britain's Got Trident."
The World's Hardest Rubik's Cube 🖼
[2nd Mar 2026 21:32]
Only Human 🖼
[2nd Mar 2026 13:08] - Because there's something, a CAPTCHA.
Almost, But Not Quite, Entirely Unlike Tea
[1st Mar 2026 12:26] - Idea for a new coffee shop franchise.
A high street coffee shop experience, themed around The Restaurant At The End Of The Universe - named: Latte Bartfast.
Veni, Vidi, Vici
[28th Feb 2026 11:37] - I came, I slept, I snored.
Steve Whiting
Striker Pose 🖼
[23rd Feb 2026 22:15] - Ladies with an attitude.
Fellas that were in the mood.
Don't just stand there, let's get to it.
Striker pose, there's nothing to it.
Vogue, vogue, vogue, vogue.
TV Trope 📖 🖼
[21st Feb 2026 20:01] - This is a regular combination door lock, a mechanical security device seen on many-a TV show, especially crime drama. Yet when appearing on TV, the sound of the mechanics get over-dubbed with digital bleeps as if to suggest the device is digital.
A … Read more
Grumpy Old Man 📖
[14th Feb 2026 20:57] - When young people come to me and ask me what I think is going wrong with the world, I dismissively gesture in the general direction of The Floor on ITV and mutter This…
Nothing to do with Rob Brydon, we like him, don't we? Nothing … Read more
I Say I Say I Say
[14th Feb 2026 17:34] - Q. What do you call a violin maker who is somewhat promiscuous?
A. Straddle various.
You're Fired 🖼
[13th Feb 2026 13:35] - - Event Manager: "You complete and utter bastard! What have you gone and done? I told you we needed engineers for Thomas before the Annual Summer Fete!"
Today's New Word - Oxtail English
[12th Feb 2026 13:01] - Stale Mary ~ verb: Going to confession and opening with Forgive me Father for I have sinned, it's been [insert lengthy absence] since my last confession.
Three Little Words 📖 🔗 🖼
[12th Feb 2026 05:40] - I created a new Instagram account to parody the dross that generally slops about in platforms such as LinkedIn.
My starting point was the creation of a nonsense, valueless, vacuous positioning phrase: "Bananas maximise vitality". AI helped … Read more
If I Was In Charge
[8th Feb 2026 23:07] - The door of every mobile phone shop would have the words 'Knock Here' by the door handle.
Branch Theory
[5th Feb 2026 10:33] - Imagine losing WWII because the wife of an aircraft manufacturer's Managing Director persuaded the Board to name the Company after their daughter. The Supermaureen Spitfire would have been laughed out of the skies.
Are You Looking For A New Philosophy? 🔗
[5th Feb 2026 08:15] - Then come visit us at Für Nietzsche Village.
Watch What You Say
[3rd Feb 2026 22:43] - - Watchmaker: "No, I'm sorry. There's absolutely nothing wrong with this timepiece."
- Me: "No, I'm sorry - I just can't accept that. I demand a Sekonda pinion!" *turns to camera* *winks*
Celebrity Product Endorsements
[2nd Feb 2026 10:15] - Nile Rogers' Chic Peas.
Yes, But What I Want To Know Is
[1st Feb 2026 18:21] - Which idiot named it Cloud Computing and not Mush IPs?
More or Less
[25th Jan 2026 20:37] - - "Honey, we're going to Baltimore!"
- "Oooh, lovely! You know how much I adore curry!" 😍
How To Get Sued
[23rd Jan 2026 15:05] - Found a pizza delivery firm under the brand name: Placid Dough Domino.
Error Message
[22nd Jan 2026 12:10] - - Printer: <INSERT YELLOW INK>
- Me: 😜
Generation Eggs
[19th Jan 2026 08:04] - - They: "Oh, come on! How old are you?"
- Me: "Old enough to think that when somebody says they'll DM me it means they want to give me a good kick in the bollocks."
#tacheHag
[18th Jan 2026 00:17]